Mirror, Mirror
A KEY EXPERIENCE ON MY JOURNEY
The following is a spoken word piece I wrote in May 2023 to summarize my experience of myself throughout a year-long workshop.
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What I SAID I wanted a year ago, was to be able to be authentic and honest about who I was for the world.
But, what I didn’t yet know I meant was… What I really wanted was to become authentic and honest with myself, for myself.
What I said was, I want to be seen and known for who I truly am.
What I meant was, I want to be willing to see the truth of who I am and know even the darkest parts of myself.
What I said was, what if I’m authentic and people find out I’m bad?
What I meant was, I’m scared of how good and powerful I am.
What I said was, I am too much.
What I meant was, I’ve only barely scratched the surface and it’s already a lot.
What I said was, one day I will finally have worked hard enough to be lovable.
What I meant was, I am striving and pushing and reaching and pulling to achieve in a misguided attempt to earn the unearnable.
What I said was, if I was better—good enough—this wouldn’t all be so damn hard.
What I meant was, every challenge, setback, loss, blow, and failure gifted me one more ounce of wisdom, one more unforgettable lesson learned.
What I said was, I have wasted all these years over giving.
What I meant was, I have stretched and grown my capacity to give so—now that I have a foundation of internal, unconditional love—I can give generously from a never-ending wellspring.
What I said was, wow! YOU, my friends, are amazing. I point, notice, declare, celebrate your ability to speak the truth, your brilliant wit, your deep intimate relationships, your beautifully audacious willingness to take up space, your creativity and boundless self-expression, your intuitive depth…
What I meant was, whoa - I see these things in you because they are already in me.
Mirror, mirror.
What I meant was, I will celebrate these aspects in you because it is more comfortable than admitting I have—I am— all of these things, too.
What I meant was, if I tell the truth, there is no reason or excuse left to keep playing small.
The truth is transformational.
What I didn’t know, before I realized you all are my mirrors, is that I was really seeking permission to love the parts of me that I learned to loath as a child.
What I know now is that I never needed permission.
What I know now is that every part of—whether brilliant, impactful, compassionate, and supportive or selfish, lazy, judgemental, whiny, pushy, still learning—every part of me is intrinsically, laughably, and imperfectly perfect exactly as it is.
What I know now is that it was pretty fucking audacious of me to take the magical and divinely created being that I am and hide her. To minimize what she can contribute to the world.
What I said was, shining in my zone of genius makes me arrogant.
What I know now is shining in my zone of genius empowers others to do so, too. It lights a path, coaxes out insights, breaths life into desires, catalyzes actions. Just like I watch happen when you are living in your power.
Mirror, mirror.
What I said was, I have to learn to be seen.
What I now know I meant was, you already see me and I am learning to see me, too. Not just my flaws and insufficiencies, but the beautiful heart and powerful woman you reflect back to me.
Mirror, mirror.
What I say now, and mean fully, is thank you. Thank you for being and sharing your authentic selves so I could discover more of mine. Thank you for shining brightly so I could learn how to shine, too.
I love you. I love me. Mirror, mirror. 💖
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Choose to learn and change your mind.
Choose to see the mirrors others hold up for you!
🌿To your journey and mine… Mirror, Mirror! 🪞🪞