Ask!

THE UNIVERSE GAVE ME EXAMPLES

My dear friend Miro became a friend in a non-traditional way. He’s a brilliant and wise man. Quick to process, slow to speak, short on words and the ones he chooses are meaningful (quite the opposite of my nature! 🤣).

When I met him, I invited him to have dinner with me. He is married. He said yes.

Later in the evening, I asked him why he said yes to my invitation. He said, “I said yes because of your invitation. Why would I say no?”

So simple in his mind. In essence, we were having interesting and meaningful conversation five minutes after meeting each other, and I invited him to continue that conversation. Why would he say no?

This idea stopped me in my tracks.

Miro has become a very dear friend of mine and, in a relatively short time, changed my life profoundly just by being himself. If I hadn’t asked for the meal, I would have missed out on valuable friendship, fascinating insights, new and deeply impactful perspectives on love and relationship, interesting facts about other cultures, and a clean, supportive friendship.

HOW MANY THINGS HAVE I MISSED OUT ON IN LIFE BECAUSE I ASSUMED IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE TO ASK?!

Because I assumed I couldn’t say yes? Because I assumed I shouldn’t, or they would be mad, or it was disrespectful.

SO I STARTED ASKING - AND I HAVE RECEIVED

The next evening, I jokingly asked a friend to buy my drink at the bar. She said “Sure! If you don’t ask it’s always a no. Now it’s a yes!”

(She was not privy to the experience I described above.)

Then I got more courageous and asked for help I needed. Not only did I get it, but the person who gave it kept checking back in. It was a genuine expression of interest and care with no obligation.

Then I asked to take up space. This one was SCARY for me. I have so many old stories about how selfish and arrogant it is to take up space in group settings. “Who am I to deserve…” and all that nonsense.

So I gathered up the courage while I was still on a roll and asked.

Not only did I get it, but I got more space than I initially asked for. I needed it, but hadn’t even seen that I needed it because I was so blinded by the assumptions that I couldn’t have it.

Then, after getting the space, I felt the post-growth “oh SHIT what did I just do?! All these people are probably so annoyed and rolling their eyes in their head and wishing I hadn’t…” You get the point.

BUT - very much to my surprise - nearly 25% of the people in that group sought me out over the next 48 hours and thanked me for what happened when I asked for and took up that space.

Hold on… WHAT?!?!

You’re not mad? Or annoyed? Or framing me as the most selfish human on earth?!

You’re… wait… grateful?! You benefited from it? You gained something too?

MY MIND IS SO CONFUSED.

But I trust this experience.

What I learned is that my mind’s well intentioned lies (assumptions) are holding me back from the experiences I most want and need. AND, it’s stopping me from creating meaningful moments of impact and connection in the world.

Choose to ASK.

Choose to challenge the assumptions and do the scary thing. It’ll be a wild ride that you’ll never want to get off of!

🌿To your journey and mine… let’s ASK!