More side-eye

WE ALL NEED OBJECTIVE OBSERVERS

We do not see the world as it is. We see the world as WE are.

I repeat this phrase so often I should have it tattooed on my eyelids.

I had the privilege to spend today with a small group of bold and courageous leaders. Women who are turning the looking glass inward and unearthing what no longer serves them in favor of new, intentional strategies.

It was a splendid reminder that no matter how brilliant, driven, open, humble, eager, and determined we are—we cannot see ourselves clearly.

These incredible women, despite their pure intentions to show up for themselves and grow forward, had comments about themselves flowing out of their mouths that were dismissive, undermining, limiting, and occasionally even judgemental. Not on purpose, but because they absorbed those perspectives along the way and don’t even notice them.

Insert the loving and disapproving side eye. Hold it!

Our brilliant human operating system is effectively designed so we only see the world through a lens that’s been getting shaped since before we emerged for our first breath. This lens is very valuable in many ways. It’s the culmination of billions of points of data and a brilliant (and hidden) marvel of analytics.

But it’s focused on one thing and one thing only - survival.

I don’t know about you, friends, but I am not here to just survive. I want to THRIVE.

So, I cannot rely solely on my shapen lens. It’s got a (well intentioned) distorted perspective of me.

Instead, I solicit the insights of my trusted advisors. My coaches. The colleagues I have grown to trust. My peer advisors (thanks, Productive Learning!)

Thank goodness for them. Their objective outsider perspective isn’t warped. They help me see my false limitations. My overly harsh judgements. My lack of grace and compassion.

They see my patterns long before I do. And, because I’ve asked them to, they share those insights with me in a loving and supportive way. To help me adjust and choose a mindset, or perspective that better aligns with my values and priorities.

I cannot become who I want to be alone.

I choose to solicit feedback from my trusted advisors. I choose to surround myself with people who give me side eye when my skewed perspective spills out of my mouth.

🌿To your journey and mine… let’s get our glare on!